Crazy Nights at Freddy's!
by Epik Master
Summary: Don't even TRY to make sense of these one-shots because you'll end up fucking your mindhole! Rated M for some Bad Words and Kinky Things :3
1. Chapter 1: Twerk Party? Da Fuck Man!

**I decided to make a whole series of random stories that I randomly came up with. These stories aren't serious so leaving a review about grammar or stuff won't be necessary.**

**Five Nights at Freddy's, Five Nights at Freddy's 2, and their trademarks and characters are owned by Scott Cawthon. I own nothing but this story. And a sandwich.**

**Thank you and get ready for some crazy stuff.**

$1,000 a week for watching some stupid animatronics? This was the easiest fucking job that Tomohawk ever had. Except for that one day in San Andreas. But that is to be saved for another perverted story.

He kicked in the front doors when he got to the pizzeria, hurting his foot in the process but he didn't give two shits about it. He walked past the animatronics, flipping them off I might add, made his way down to the office and sat down at the desk.

**12 AM**

_"Hello, hello?!"_ A crackly voice from the phone yelled. _"Well if you're hearing this, congrats! Welcome to your new summer job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizerria."_

Tomohawk looked over at the wall calendar which was upside down. "What the fuck, man? It's the middle of December!"

_"I left this message to get you settled in on your first week here. As you can see you have a 1987 tablet that shouldn't even exist. You can use that to check the cameras around the restaurant."_

Tomohawk picked up his 1987 tablet which shouldn't even exist and looked through the cameras. The animatronics were in their normal places.

_"Eh, we've been getting complaints from the previous night guard that the animatronics were trying to get into his office."_

"Either that guy's been working too long or something fucked up is going on."

_"So we've given you an empty Freddy Fazbear head. Problem solved! You can put it on as long as you want. Anything that wondered in will wonder right back out."_

"This is starting to sound a lot less awesome." He switched over to the Prize Counter feed. He didn't dare to put on the nasty ass mask which had probably been on a bunch of dirty ass people's heads.

_"Well by now you may have noticed the Prize Counter. We have a music box set up in there. Just wind it up every once in a while and you'll be okay. It doesn't seem to effect all the animatronics but it does work on...one of them..."_

"One of them? How many of them are there?" Tomohawk grabbed a bottle of eCola off the table which, oddly enough, wasn't there before. "Wait a second...Why am I drinking from a bottle? I usually drink from a can!"

_"So uh, that should be it. Check the cameras, other stuff, and you should be golden. I'll see ya on the flip side."_ The phone call ended.

"Finally, I didn't think I could take another minute of that shrill ass voice."

**2 AM**

Tomohawk had been doing nothing for the last two hours. He drank a few sodas that randomly appeared on his table, he checked the cameras, and that's about it. Until he checked the camera one more time.

"Nothing here, nothing ther-" He stopped at the Party Room 4, staring in shock at what he saw.

Toy Bonnie and Toy Chica were having a Twerk-Off. On the party tables. There asses bouncing around was too much for Tomohawk to handle.

He quickly pulled his rock cock out and started to beat his meat. He couldn't stop staring at there jiggling buns smacking up and down. He blew a load of curm all over the 1987 tablet that shouldn't even exist.

Suddenly, the two furries stopped and slowly looked at the camera.

_'Fuck, they know I'm here!' _Tomohawk thought. He quickly searched the room and found a partially hidden camera in the corner. _'They know I was smackin my jackin to them twerkin!'_ He completely panicked and hid under the table with his mask on.

5:59 AM

Tomohawk knew he was screwed. They had came in to look for him several times but he was still able to survive somehow. What great technology. Then something came to his mind.

_'I forgot the BOOOOOOOOOOX!'_ He screamed inside his head. Tomohawk took off the mask and reached for the 1987 tablet that shouldn't even exist but he was too late. The box was wide open and he could hear _'Pop! Goes the Weasel'_ playing from what seemed to be absolutely nothing.

Like seriously, where the fuck does that music come from? Some hidden stereos in the wall or some shit?

He knew there was no way he could get out of this shit. Tomohawk sat in the chair and stared into the dark hallway ahead of him, waiting for his time to come.

**...**

**...**

**...**

**"FREEEDO-"**

Bells rang out and children cheered with joy. Weird how you could hear them so clearly.

"Wait, what the fuck?" Tomohawk said in confusion. The Puppet was suspended in mid-air, just one inch away from his face, 2.54 centimeters for all you foreigners. Or is 2.51? Fuck you.

"Fuck yes, I did itz!" Tomohawk jumped out of his chair and started to hippity-hoppity outta there like a boss. He pushed a bunch of kids onto the floor as he flip-flopped out the front doors and down the street to his house.

**Later that day.**

Tomohawk went out to look at his mail and found a pink slip inside his mailbox. No not the kind from Need For Speed: Most Wanted for beating some Blacklist member. The kind you got from your job. The BAD kind.

**Notice Of Termination (YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED IDIOT)**

**Reasons:**

**-Masturbating on the job**

**-Cumming all over the 1987 tablet that shouldn't even exist**

**-Unprofessionalism**

**-Physical Assault**

**-Anti-Capitalism**

**-Graffiti**

**-Race**

"Okay, only five of those could've gotten me fired!"

**Well, I had a bit of fun making this. I'm planning on making more of these one-shots that have literally no meaning at all except for some shits and giggles, not only for FNaF but for other stuff too.**

**And if you want me to make a useless story, go ahead and ask! Don't be shy! I'll make it as soon as I can and give you credit for it.**


	2. Chapter 2: 2gory4me

**Welcome back kiddies to my sick mind! Where the stories may be questionable but my grammar is not! I write my stories on an iPad and I STILL have better spelling then most people on computers and laptops.**

**Uh, three things before I start this. First, this chapter is a sequel to the previous chapter. All the others will be on a different timeline and you'll find out why pretty soon.**

**Secondly, the animatronics are still furries in this one. Like most of my stories. I don't really like them as animatronics but I might make them robots later on :P**

**Thirdly, this chapter is less for giggles and more for shits. It's gonna get kinda graphic later on so anyone under the age of 13, GET DA FUK OUT, unless you like gore. Or if you like to stool in your pants. Or both.**

**This is the story of a girl named Chikoku (ちこく****) who decides that there is only one way to stop the animatronics! Wonder how this will turn out! I'll let my brain do the talking for now on and I hope you enjoy!**

**I own the OCs Tomohawk and Chikoku. Five Nights at Freddy's, it's trademarks, logos, and characters are owned by Scott Cawthon.**

Chikoku. Not the person I would choose for the job but she was the only one who signed up. Tomohawk had fucked around and got himself fired so this girl would have to do.

She stayed in the corner of the restaurant, watching the kids play around until it was closing time. The animatronics walked back onto the show stage after the kids left and went into standby mode. Yaknow, kinda like your smartphone or tablet that your reading this on.

Well, if your smartphone or tablet had a free roaming mode. That would be weird. Possible but weird.

"We're gonna have fun tonight," Chikoku whispered to the animatronics. She ran all the way back to the office then sat in the chair, staring awkwardly into the darkness.

**12 AM**

_"Hello?!" _Tomohawk's voice blared through the phone. _"Shit, is this thing on? Oh, it is. Well hello there new kid! I got paid to do this since I was fired last night. So I'm here to tell you what you have to do."_

"Tomohawk?" She realized it was her roommate on the phone. "So that's where he was all night."

**Meanwhile at Tomo and Chikoku's house**

"I wonder where Chikoku's at," Tomo said, playing on his Gameboy since the Playstation didn't exist yet.

**Back In Ze Office**

_"Uh well, you see ya got a 1987 tablet that shouldn't exist in front of you. You can use that thing to look at the cameras but that's kinda useless. You only need it in one room, the uh, right right, Camera 11. The Prize Counter. You got some kind of thing attached to it so you can wind up the music box. They told me it works on one animatronic or something._

_"The animatronics seem to get pissed off more each night so it'll probably be harder for you then it was for me. But don't worry, is what they tell you. If they get into or near your office just put on that Freddy Fuckbear head and they'll leave. Simple as that._

_"So uh that's about it. Check the hallway with your flashlight, check the vent lights, wind the fuck outta that box, wear the mask, and you'll live another day. Unless you fuck up. See ya later!" _

He paused for a second. _"Or maybe not." _The phone call ended.

"This is so easy. How could he get fired from this?"

**3 AM**

After a few hours of watching yaoi, Chikoku decided to check the hallways.

"Oh look, a fox!" She said excitedly, pulling her hand away from her slit. She reached for her back pocket and pulled something out.

Suddenly her flashlight went out. And then, metal footsteps before...

**"FREEDO-"**

Foxy was cut off by a giant hunting knife cutting through his body as he flew over Chikoku's head. His blood, tissues, organs, and bones fell all over her, the desk and the office floor.

It was some nasty ass shit. Nasteh. Like kinky sex nasty.

What was left of Foxy landed behind her in a pile on the floor. Chikoku looked right and checked the right air vent. Aaaand there was Toy Bonnie, looking sexy as usual. That tight ass, those chains around his neck, the ballgag in his mouth...

Oh sorry, I was looking at the wrong picture. FORGET THE LINE ABOVE THIS!

She threw on the mask and watched as TB slowly moved to the center of the room. Chikoku took her opportunity and threw her bloody knife directly into his eye. Streaks of his blood flew out as he fell to the ground.

"Bullseye! Or should I say," She put on a pair of dark sunshades. "Rabbitseye?"

Some random guy with a guitar started playing and screamed, "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!" then clipped through the wall.

**5 AM**

It was one fucked up night. Like seriously, it was fucked up as hell, man. Chikoku had slit Toy Chica and Balloon Boy's necks, carved out Mangle's eyes, and was now waiting for what she thought would be the final kill.

"I'm ready," she whispered, "for Freddy."

She waited for him. Waited, waited, and waited. She turned on the flashlight and saw him leaning into to the room. Then the flashlight went out.

"Perfect timing." Chikoku front flipped over the table and decapitated Freddy as he tried to enter the room. His body fell backwards as his head rolled to the middle of the room.

"Flawless Victory." She walked back over the table and looked at the Prize Counter. The Puppet had risen from the box, staring with its creepy ass smile.

It's weird as fuck doe. I've seen it myself and it's just creepy.

"What's this? Looks like someone wants to join the party." Chikoku put down the tablet and laid back in the chair. And then the music started to play.

Seriously though, where the hell does all those sounds come from? There must be some speakers or stereos in the wall or something. I dunno.

She waited for awhile. The seconds turned into minutes. She waited, listening to the music play over and over on loop, waiting for the slightest sound-

"Aha!" She threw the knife, intercepting The Puppet's face as it lunged towards her. It landed on the tablet with the blade stuck in its forehead. Chikoku stood up and took the blade from its head.

**DING DONG, DING DONG**

And once again, another person survived the night. She took some 'souvenirs' with her and left out the back door.

**Not too much later.**

"Hey Tomohawk!" Chikoku screamed as she walked in the house.

"What? I'm busy!" Tomohawk was busy playing his Gameboy because the PS4 hadn't been invented.

"I got you a Christmas present!" She walked into their bedroom and dropped Freddy Fazbear's head onto the bed, blood still slowly dripping from his neck.

"Thanks! Always wanted this. That'll show them for trying to fuck with me."

Chikoku laid down on the bed next to him. "So you wanna go a round before they find me and arrest me for murder?"

"It's 1987, they won't find you for at least another 3 years!"

Chikoku then ripped off his pants are started goin' to work.

**Le End.**

**Well that was probably the most goriest thing I've ever written. Sorry if this story made you sick to the stomach but there was a warning up there at the beginning. Your fault if you didn't read it :P**

**Uh anyways, I got my PS4 so I'm gonna start live streaming for the next few months. So far I have WWE 2K15 so if you like that, or just enjoy hearing my voice, then come join the stream! My Twitch account is Epik_Master so just search me.**

**PEACE!**


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